I’m the type of person that needs to understand how something works in order for it to work. Especially, when it comes to anything psychological or mental. Just because you tell me to do it, doesn’t mean I can.
For example, forgiveness was difficult for me to grasp. How do you forgive someone who has hurt you, and shows no remorse? How do you forgive yourself, when you now know what you did was wrong? “Just let it go”, was a foreign concept to me, but regular advice that I was given.
Whenever someone told me to just let something go, I would wonder “How?”. How do I let go of something I am continually reminded of?
How do I let something go if I am constantly reminded of it? I needed a step-by-step process, in a logical format, to learn basic forgiveness, and to the procedure on how to let things go. Sometimes our traumas are so severe, and the pain so prevalent, that it can be confusing.
I had to develop my own set of tips and tricks in order to learn how to heal. You can check out my ebook about the Healing Journey here.
The phrase: “Transmute it into love” was more abstract advice, that I knew was important, but I didn’t understand. What is transmutation? How do you turn something that has elicited pain, for a long time, into something that now sparks an emotion of love or compassion.
The Principal of Polarity
There are seven universal Hermetic Principles, and one of them is the Law of Polarity. Everything has a polar opposite, but they are the same thing, just at opposite ends of the spectrum.
The most tangible, and easiest, to wrap my mind around, was hot and cold. They are the same thing, but at opposite polarities. They reside on the same spectrum, but they are one. Just like Light and Dark, or Love and Hate, Fear and Courage or Wet and Dry.
What’s the process to transmute cold into hot? Everyone understands this process. We apply heat to whatever is cold until it is hot. So in order to turn something cold into something hot, we apply heat. To make a hot thing cold, we apply something cool in temperature. This was easy for me to visualize using the image of a thermometer.
We often see hot and cold as two separate things, but accepting they are just polarities of the same thing, allows us to visually conceptualize the art of transmutation, also known as alchemy.
So, if light and dark are the same thing, but polar opposites, how can we transmute dark into light? Simple, right?. Applying light to the dark is the act of transmuting dark into light.
How do we transmute light back to dark? Take the light away, or cover it in darkness. These are things we have all done before, and are common sense. What was once dark can become light. The resonance of light is on a spectrum. If something is very dark more light is needed in order to transmute it into the opposite polarity.
There is always a spectrum to work with in the art of transmutation. You aren’t turning one thing into another.
We are moving it on the spectrum in the direction of the desired polarity. If something is freezing, it’s going to take more effort to make it boil, compared to if the temperature was half way up the thermometer.
But with something energetic or emotional, and without substance, how do we transmute a memory, that triggers emotional pain, into once that no longer hurts? And why is it important, since we cannot go back in time and change the past?
In order to heal, and transmute pain into love, I acknowledged the past actually does exist. Not in the form of something we can physically return to, but it’s still real in our minds. Being reminded of something, or someone, makes the past real in the present moment, because thoughts are things, and do affect our present emotional state.
A strong memory of the past can trigger an identical emotional, and in turn physical, response.
This is what it means to relive the past, and if the past keeps involuntarily coming up, it inevitably affects how we feel. Have you ever remembered something embarrassing, that you did or said, and then felt the sensation of embarrassment return to your body, even though it took place a long time ago?
You can be feeling great, and in the moment, where life is good, but a memory can surface and rob you of your joy. You may be reminded of a lost loved one, or a failed relationship that ended miserably, and a beautiful day can transmute into a bad one, depending on the power that memory holds.
The process of transmutation, or mental alchemy, is about sitting with the memory that is triggering a less-than-loving emotional reaction, and mentally turning it into something positive.
The memory is the same, but we transmute the emotional response towards the opposite polarity. In this case hate (or fear, anger, jealousy, etc.)
Some attachments can be difficult to transmute, depending on the extent of the pain. The art of transmutation is not about pushing the memories away, it’s about shifting the emotion connected to it. The reason things may keep coming to the surface is because they need to be healed. Letting go, like transmutation, is an intentional mental process.
Transmuting a Painful Relationship
A past relationship is a good example. I was in a place where I was constantly reminded of an ex-partner. I hadn’t thought about her much for a long time, but due to the geographic location, she kept coming up. We had spent time there together, and I found myself reminded of her often, even though it has been a long time since we were together.
The emotion attached to her memory was less than loving, to put it gently, based on the end of our time together, which ended in anger and harsh words. So, every time I thought of my ex, my emotional state lowered in vibration. I felt that anger surface again based on something from the past, which cannot be changed. I could be having a good day, and that memory would take me off my game.
I could be feeling a warm internal state of bliss, but a memory of her would surface, and my vibrational frequency would lower instantly.
We are all creators, who are creating from a present emotional set point. It may be difficult to stop being reminded of someone, but we can take that memory and transmute it.
How? This may be a unique individual process, but I’ll share what worked for me and my mind.
To begin the process, I sat with it. I sat with the memories, and the emotions attached to them, rather than pushing them away.
The first Hermetic Principle is “All is Mental”, and I went within the mind. I acknowledged what had caused me to attach that emotion to her. I shifted my perspective, by thinking about all of the love I once felt for her, and the love we shared. I thought about the good times we had, as much as I could, by recognizing there was much joy in that connection too.
Through realizing how much I had learned about myself from the events that angered me. It taught me so many lessons, and I wouldn’t be who I am today without those experiences, and I love who I am today, so I wouldn’t be me without her. She played an integral role in my journey, and taught me many things.
I am who I am because of my journey, and she was a part of it. I learned so much about myself during our time together, and I still was, just by reflecting on it. For that, I am grateful.
It’s about sliding up the emotional thermometer. By applying love to the past connection, it rises up from anger toward the top, which is unconditional love.
I transmuted my anger into gratitude for all that she taught me. I recognized her role in my growth and development, and my life’s journey. I recognized I needed those painful and hurt times as lessons to learn to love myself. It all also taught me to recognize what I don’t want in a future partner.
Also, I took ownership of my role in the destruction of the relationship, and what had caused her to do the things that hurt me.
This took some work and some time. From a present place of love, I was able to send love to a past version of myself, as well as her.
I didn’t need to be angry at her anymore. Yes, I was hurt, but that was then. Now, when her memory arises, I am filled with love, because I am reminded of the many good times, and the important life lessons learned that stemmed from a period of pain.
This is just one example of the art of transmutation. Each individual memory is going to look different, but it’s about shifting perspectives and beliefs. Also, it is recognizing that hanging on to pain serves no one.
It’s a beautiful thing to no longer feel a lowering of your emotional state by a memory. What once triggered anger or pain, can now create love, or even nothing at all, depending on the extent of the alchemy.
The goal of emotional transmutation doesn’t mean you need to feel good about something that once made you fell bad. It’s about balance, and shifting a previously painful memory into something non-reactive is power. Love is the goal, but ending the suffering is the priority.
The Process is Unique, but the Love is the same
Some things are easy to transmute, just like it is easier to boil warm water than cold.
Abuse is a good example of something that can be difficult to transmute. To tell some people they don’t need to feel anger anymore towards someone who abused them, can be confusing. Especially, if they’ve held on to that anger for a long time.
If you are reminded of past trauma and abuse, and rather than feel an uncomfortable emotion, you feel nothing at all, that you have successfully transmuted an emotion in the direction of the opposite polarity. If you once felt hatred for someone, and now their memory makes you feel nothing, just neutral emotions, you have regained your power from whoever took it in the past, but it can still be transmuted more.
To love and forgive someone who has harmed you deeply is possible.
In order to transmute past pain, we have to sit with memory and become objective about it. We have a habit of suppressing, or distracting ourselves from, any uncomfortable emotions. You need to feel it to heal it. Sending love is powerful, and so does intellectually reevaluating a situation in your past.
Memories fade, but remain stored in our subconscious. Just because it’s not our focus, does not mean it isn’t playing a role in our daily lives. Triggers are indications of unhealed wounds. Things can upset us, and we don’t always know exactly why. When we are reminded of our pain, it is an indication of something that needs healing, or in other words transmuted from one polarity to the other.
Our emotions are one of the few things we can have control over, but left untethered they can control us. Mental pain is healed with the mind. Drugs, for example, suppress rather than heal the wound that creates the pain. We are our own healers, and we can heal the past by acknowledging it, and reprogramming our perception of it.
This takes time and effort, but the art of transmutation is available to us all.
Conclusion
The past is a reference manual, not something to focus upon. If in the present moment, we are taken back to a memory that holds enough power to negatively influence our present emotional set point, this is an opportunity to transmute emotions like hate, anger or fear into love. Being proud of yourself for what you have overcome, through acknowledging your struggles as an opportunity for growth, is integral to the art of mental transmutation.
Love is the same thing as hate, like hot is the same thing as cold. They are opposite in polarities.
To send love to a past version of yourself becomes easier, once you are able to consistently feel that love in the present moment. It’s impossible to send something you don’t have. This is why self-love practices are integral. The past is gone, but memories remain. All emotions are real and valid, and can be transmuted into what you want to feel.
Love is my favourite feeling. Things often come up from the past in order to be healed. Transmutation is from one polarity to the next is possible, if you are willing to do the work, feel all of the emotions and see your experience objectively by going within.